I was sitting with a friend in a bar in Saigon. The glittering city below us looked gorgeous. I was fascinated by the car lights on the highway, which looked like two yellow and two red strings of pearls, side by side. “Isn’t it a wonderful coincidence that there are no yellow lights among the red lights, and vice versa?” I asked my friend. “That those strings of light are so perfectly harmonious?” Continue >>
Moments in the sun
I’m a travel addict who likes to play it safe. A few weeks ago, I returned home from Italy, the land of lovers. In terms of age, I’m old enough to be a grandmother, but in Italy I felt like a young donna. “Buongiorno, signora!” men of all ages kept shouting to me on the streets. When did I turn from a signorina into a signora? Twenty years ago? When I still was a signorina, the attention felt annoying. That was no longer the case. Continue >>
Into the unknown
When on vacation, I usually don’t bother to take part in local trips. They always start too early and end too late. However, when my son was a teenager, I decided to shape up and provide him—and perhaps also myself—with an experience: a canoe trip in Krabi, Thailand.
I pictured us paddling peacefully along a river in the jungle, admiring the scenery, occasionally engaged in profound discussion. Continue >>
A whole new world
Once I complained to a colleague that I had not been able to write for more than fifteen minutes that day . “It’s a nudge forward,” she said, comforting me. “Even if you can’t come up with more than just one sentence, it’s still something.” So I keep telling myself: “Don’t try to write the whole book. Write one page. One sentence. A word.” There is nothing romantic or glamorous about the anguish of creativity. Continue >>
Worked up about work
I’m engaged in what is known as a passion profession—even two of them. When I was a little girl, my dream was to become an author and an actress. I have since discovered that life doesn’t always flow like a dream.
In writing, I have more freedom to express myself—I only need to consider the publisher’s opinion. Nevertheless, freedom is not the right word to describe the profession of a writer. Continue >>
Silence of the snow
I was once invited to speak at a conference about creativity. I decided to be honest, which turned out to be counter to the spirit of the event. I said that I didn’t subscribe to the trendy notion of all work being creative if you have the right attitude. Raking leaves in the backyard is not creative. You can think creatively while raking, but the raking in itself is not creative. My speech met with a chilly reception. Continue >>
Sleep gets in your eyes
I love sleeping. Sometimes I sleep for twelve hours at night and take a nap in the afternoon. Someone could say I’m escaping reality. That’s possible. I can think of many good reasons to escape reality. Some people think that sleeping too much is wasting your valuable time.
I dare to disagree: in my opinion, it’s quality time. Researchers claim that people in the creative field need more sleep than others. Continue >>
Behind the smiley face
The risk of misunderstanding runs high in texting. A message intended as neutral information can often seem blunt. And you should add a smiley face after each humorous message. You can never know the limits of someone else’s sense of humor. I think we all have sent texts to the wrong person. One time my friend and I had discussed at length a necklace that I couldn’t find anywhere. Continue >>
Bouts of nostalgia
When my son was a teenager, we watched Grease together. I had last seen the movie decades earlier, when it first came to theaters. Back then, I was deeply impressed. My friends and I even started a girls’ club called the Pink Ladies. Grease revisited was a disappointment. Time had done its work: my middle-aged self found the acting too loud and restless and the music not so good. Continue >>
Best friends forever
Carol Shields describes friendship between two women in The Republic of Love as follows: “Among their ancient rituals is the exchange of elaborate compliments.” This is exactly what female friends do. It’s just as important to receive compliments from a female friend as it is from a man. A female friend’s main duty is to keep your self-esteem high. Sometimes this means telling a little lie. “Gained weight? You?” Continue >>
Revenge of the aunts
Some say fear is the root of all evil, and I agree. Fear often makes us do things that have harmful consequences—and stops us from doing things that would lead to something good. I often have an ominous feeling: something bad will happen. However, sentiments and premonitions reveal nothing about the future. They reveal only that we’re afraid. This is why we should not always trust our instincts. Continue >>
Finding a balance
Anna-Leena Harkonen was seventeen when she was spotted by a director at an amateur theater event and chosen to star in a major feature film. That summer, she also learned that she had been accepted to attend the Theater Academy in Helsinki and that her first novel had been accepted for publication. The book became a modern classic in her native Finland and is still widely read. Continue >>
I heard a rumor
If you get caught talking about someone behind their back, there are two things you can say: “Listen, I wouldn’t say anything behind your back that I couldn’t say to your face” and “I have enough problems of my own. I don’t have the time or interest to talk about yours.” These are lies, of course. Everyone has time for a little gossip, no matter how much they have on their plate. Continue >>
Our myths of motherhood
“Faint Lines, an autobiographical work of fiction by Anna-Leena Harkonen, is an open and honest account that challenges our myths of motherhood,” writes book blogger Susa Huhtala. “I read the book soon after it was first published, and I remember being deeply impressed. When my book club selected Faint Lines, I read it again, more analytically, now as a mother of two small children.” Continue >>
Words of vengeance
There are a few people whose demise I’m going to celebrate with a glass of sparkling wine—they are not worthy of champagne. Unfortunately, they will be blissfully unaware of my little moment of celebration.
I usually seek my revenge when the enemy is still alive. The problem is, I don’t have the courage for anything spectacular. I have to resort to little ways that are very likely to go unnoticed. Continue >>
From darkness to love
Actress Brooke Shields and author and actress Anna-Leena Harkonen document their experiences with pregnancy loss, infertility, and postpartum depression in their autobiographical works Down Came the Rain and Faint Lines. Their voices are unflinchingly honest and bravely introspective as they examine the darkest memories of what should have been the happiest months of their lives. Continue >>
Anna-Leena Harkonen answered twenty questions about her life and career. The questions are partly based on the Proust Questionnaire, a parlor game made popular by Marcel Proust, a French novelist and essayist. He believed that the questions reveal the true nature of the person answering them. What book should everyone read? What skill would you like to master? What is your greatest achievement? Continue >>
Little House revisited
Little House on the Prairie was one of my favorite shows as a child, the television equivalent of a power ballad.
I was delighted to discover that reruns were going be broadcast. I made sure I had the time and space to watch. The disappointment! I have aged, and so has the show. What a celebration of conventionality, a triumph of black-and-white thinking. Hurtful conventional attitudes are still surprisingly common. Continue >>
If I hear a good story, I gradually begin to believe that it happened to me. I have also stolen memories from my sisters and adopted memories that are not true. Events that someone invented. Events that I invented.
Margaret Atwood said that being too close to the truth is destructive, and authors must not be destructive. Sometimes I write a scene for a novel, and later the exact same thing happens to me. Continue >>
While postpartum depression is now discussed more openly and extensively than in the past, it still involves a stigma. “It’s taboo for a mother to admit to experiencing negative feelings, even hatred, toward her newborn,” says Anna-Leena Harkonen. In a culture where men are expected to maintain a facade of strength, postpartum depression among men is an even less widely discussed phenomenon. Continue >>
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